Browsing Tag

yummy morning

Expressive, Photos, Writing

Assignment 1

I’m taking a documentary photography class and I love it!  The first assignment went well and now that the first critique is over, I feel like I can breathe again.  Here are the shots I turned in for that first critique:

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Family LIfe, Writing

Cricket, my Cricket

This is a picture I took a few minutes ago of my Cricket, my baby cat.  The couch here is one of her favorite perches. I say “baby cat,” by which I mean I remember when she fit in the palm of my hand.  She’s still a little petite thing, but at 16 years old she’s solidly in her geriatric years and has been for quite some time. I love this kitty.  I shouldn’t play favorites over all the pets we’ve had in this household, but she’s at the top of the list.  My Daddy rescued her for me from the Carroll County Animal Shelter when I was 16 years old, too young to adopt her myself.  She’s been around for all of my psychotic episodes, and for many other traumatic events.  She was the only thing I wanted from home when S moved out of our apartment in college.  She kept me company while I picked myself up and became independent for the first time as an adult. She had to live at Mother and Daddy’s house, though, when Jared and I met because Jared had Murphy.  See, Cricket is an “only” cat and she herself demands that she […]

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Expressive, Faith, Photography as Vocation, Writing

A Little Serenity

I’m up today within the yummy morning window.  I’ve had time to write.  Laundry is on and I’m about to do the ten minutes of yoga for which I currently have stamina. Balance is what I seek today.  In the lull of normal life, I just want a normal, moderately productive day. I sit in front of the computer screen too much, looking at other women’s blogs which make life as mommy look unrealistically glamourous.  I look at the words and pictures which pour forth from these blogs and compare my own meager attempts at a web presence, comparing for no good reason because my own blog bursts full of my own creativity which is completely unique to me. Today, I will be more present as a mother and less present on social media. When the sun comes up I will sit on my front porch and drink whatever caffeinated beverage I can find in the kitchen.  I will read a devotional today.  I will actually clean house a little bit.  Today will be filled with peace and gratitude for my wonderfully mundane life. I’ve had days that weren’t quite so normal, on both sides of the spectrum.  I’m slowly […]

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Expressive, Mental Health, Photography as Vocation, Writing

Working on Me

Yesterday and today, I’ve been doing some internal housekeeping. I rarely look at them anymore, but I felt compelled yesterday morning to get out the journals I kept from my last inpatient stay at the Local Friendly Mental Ward. For the most part, the theme of my journals was outwardly-centered:  I was worried about other people, not myself.  In fact, I could not concentrate at all on myself, as if it was a defense mechanism against falling apart completely. That’s a theme of what happens when I go psychotic:  I worry too much about other people, with pretty much no worry at all about what’s going on inside myself. It happened when I was 17:  I was worried about a good girlfriend. It happened when I was 18:  I was worried about a boyfriend. It happened when I was 19:  I was worried about another good girlfriend. It happened when I was 28:  I was worried about my employer. It happened when I was 30:  I was worried about yet another girlfriend and my employer. That’s the run-down, simplified.  There were side scenarios I was worried about each time as well, but above were the triggers.  Stress from worry made […]

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New Routines

It’s been a long (and a little scary) week, but things are better now.  I’ll be getting back to my routine, a new routine, starting tomorrow, at home with my boys. As I said on Facebook yesterday, I sure do love my family.  That’s all I’ll say about them for now. I had appointments with both my psychiatrist and my therapist this week and they thought I am doing “fantastically well,” as my therapist put it.  My pdoc told me to remember that I am a human being and that my illness is just something I deal with, so he wants me to stop going to two therapists.  That means no more visits to the Local Friendly Mental Ward aftercare; he thought I should just go to my normal group therapy and for individual with my normal therapist.  I’m okay with that, though I will miss the therapist at the hospital. I’ve been doing a lot of knitting this week, with size 4 needles and small yarn and the shortest little circular needles I’ve ever seen.  It’s different to not pop out a project within a few hours as I’ve been working on the same little hat all week long […]

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