Browsing Tag


Expressive, Mental Health, Photography as Vocation, Writing

Working on Me

Yesterday and today, I’ve been doing some internal housekeeping. I rarely look at them anymore, but I felt compelled yesterday morning to get out the journals I kept from my last inpatient stay at the Local Friendly Mental Ward. For the most part, the theme of my journals was outwardly-centered:  I was worried about other people, not myself.  In fact, I could not concentrate at all on myself, as if it was a defense mechanism against falling apart completely. That’s a theme of what happens when I go psychotic:  I worry too much about other people, with pretty much no worry at all about what’s going on inside myself. It happened when I was 17:  I was worried about a good girlfriend. It happened when I was 18:  I was worried about a boyfriend. It happened when I was 19:  I was worried about another good girlfriend. It happened when I was 28:  I was worried about my employer. It happened when I was 30:  I was worried about yet another girlfriend and my employer. That’s the run-down, simplified.  There were side scenarios I was worried about each time as well, but above were the triggers.  Stress from worry made […]

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Mental Health

Caroline’s 10-Point Mood Scale

I did some homework tonight. I made up my 10-Point Mood Scale, something I can refer to when I’m acknowledging my bipolar symptoms daily and trying to cope.  I’m pretty proud!  This is something that someone has been prodding me to put on paper since last Spring.  The paper version is a pocket-sized version that’s very colorful and has coping techniques on both sides.  The point of this is for me to take stock daily of where I fall on this chart and use my coping techniques to help make thingss better.  Yay! Below is what I came up with: 0 = Depressed = Suicidal.  Call Therapist, Call Psychiatrist, Go to ER…All viable options.  Do something pleasurable to distract, Journal. 1 = Depressed = Hopeless, Tearful, Sleep all the time, High appetite.  Call Psychiatrist, Call Therapist, Call a friend, Journal, Take a walk, Find inspirational sayings, Do art of choice, Take a short nap. 2 = Depressed = Difficulty concentrating, Too focused, Tearful, High appetite.  Journal, Knit for short periods of time, Eat well in moderation, Do artwork, Call Therapist, Call Psychiatrist. 3 = Depressed = Angry, Sleepy, Irritable, Tense, Sad.  Acknowledge and move on, Draw to sort out thoughts, […]

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