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Expressive

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Forward Momentum

It’s time to think forward, not back. I hold a lot of anger about the past. Me being angry, though, doesn’t make a bit of difference on the outcome of any of those situations. Being angry only hurts me. I’ve started meditating as a means to bring peace to my brain. Also, it reminds me to think about now and the future, not the past. I have excellent things and people in my life and I am thrilled to be able to invest in them. I am no longer dedicating energy to life-draining people or projects. I recently got a high compliment on the featured image here, which I took on June 16, 2019. Someone told me I nailed the film photography look. That is exactly what I was going for. My goal is to be a hybrid wedding photographer…..shooting film and digital. For now, I am digital only, but I strive to make my photos look as film-like as possible. I do have a film camera I would like to be able to put to use, but it needs some work before it can be a workhorse camera. Photography is my lifeblood. My family and my true friends are […]

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Expressive, happy

Baby and Photo Talk

Baby and photo talk: that sweet face in the photo, he has taken over life in our household.  The big boys adore him. Even Abby understands that when Oliver is in our laps or when he is getting floor time that Abby has to be mindful of the baby.  We are settling into life with three. I am grateful he is here. Pregnancy Fears The fear from the pregnancy is not gone yet.  Oliver will be four months old this week. His head is still wobbly as all get-out when he attempts to hold it up himself, which he will not always do.  He does better when he is on his tummy. But when he sits in somebody’s lap, it’s still full-fledged bobble-head baby.  It reminds me that this pregnancy was so very different. He didn’t move much that I could feel at all, nothing like his big brothers.   That hand, the very one that’s up by his head, was just in that precise position for so much of the pregnancy. That’s a good part of the reason I was begging for a c-section by the end.  And then there was the heart deceleration that led to the c-section. […]

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Focused Healing

I’d like to say that every post here will be shiny and pretty and uplifting.  But, that just isn’t how I operate.  I get pretty bleak sometimes, baring my emotional scars.  Sometimes it feels like I’m wearing them on my forehead. I should heed the phrase, “trigger warning,” more carefully.  An article I read earlier whose title started with the phrase set me into this mood almost instantaneously. I was in a great mood late yesterday, upbeat about the world.  I was in the mood to make plans and those plans were realistic and progressive in nature.  Life was good. Life is still good.  Nothing about my external circumstances has changed.  I still intend to make and follow through with plans. Stupid article, that one I read last night, the one that sent me to the place that caused me to start drafting this post.  If I didn’t know better, I’d stop reading when I come across stuff like that.  Maybe I am finally learning to know better. Suffice it to say that I don’t wonder about evil in the world because I’ve seen it firsthand. That’s all I care to say about the causes of those scars.  The sources of […]

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Expressive, Writing

Organ Photo

Above is the only shot that was worth anything from my first sessions on manual settings, and it’s got its fair share of problems.  I’m going to work on it tomorrow, heavily. My next assignment is to capture the essence of my perceptions of my hometown.  I’m actually not as nervous about this assignment as previous ones, mainly because I’ve got some ideas of the kinds of shots I want to capture.  I’ve also got a week to finish it. What else is there to say?  I’m loving this class, love that I’m learning about photography and my camera.  I also love having a sense of purpose to my day.  It’s pretty awesome.

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Expressive, Writing

From Automatic to Manual

If this photography class has given me nothing else (which it has already, by the way), it has given me the confidence to move away from the automatic settings on my camera to working with the manual settings.  My instructor swears that eventually I will be happier with the results from having more control over settings.  For now, though, mostly this means blurry shots. I did manage to get this cool accident of a shot, of a door knob at church, complete with built-in effects.  I still haven’t completely figured out my shutter speed, obviously. Mostly otherwise, it’s meant lots and lots of blurry shots because of the shutter speed issue.  I also have issues with white balance. But, I think I like it. It will just take lots of practice. I don’t do well with photographing people, though.  Jared is encouraging, but people are hard for me.  I much prefer shooting inanimate objects that have no opinion, don’t purposefully pose for the camera, and can’t get me in trouble.  Little details (like the doorknob I was trying to get here) are much more fun for me. At first, I stressed over the assignment I will turn in tomorrow.  Documenting […]

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Expressive, Photos, Writing

Assignment 1

I’m taking a documentary photography class and I love it!  The first assignment went well and now that the first critique is over, I feel like I can breathe again.  Here are the shots I turned in for that first critique:

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