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Expressive

Expressive, Mental Health

I Don’t Know What To Say

I don’t even know what to say. I have been paralyzed most of the past month, and particularly more so in the past week. I haven’t been journaling, I mostly haven’t been taking pictures other than when I took Jared to the train station a little over a week ago. Writing in pubic doesn’t feel safe at the moment for a variety of reasons. I don’t know what is in store for this blog for the future. I don’t even know if I want to keep a blog in the future.

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a new baby
Expressive

A New Baby is in the House: GFX 50SII

A new baby is in the house: a New Camera A new baby is in the house. I have completely switched camera systems and I am ecstatic about this fact. With Jared’s blessing, I have sold all of my Fuji X Series gear to KEH. This is because there is a Fuji GFX 50SII in the house now. I thought I would desperately be missing my 50mm f1 lens. Or the 35mm f1.4 lens. But the kit lens from the 50SII is in another league altogether. I am not going to rush to buy a proper portrait lens for a good, long, while. This decision was not without much debate and heart searching. I have been pining away for Fuji medium format for years now– ever since I heard they were releasing a Fuji medium format camera in 2017. I honestly thought it would forever be out of reach due to price. But, the 50SII is, cost-wise, not more expensive than some full frame cameras with a lens. And that kit lens on the GFX50SII– it’s a 35-70mm f4.5-5.6, which translates into roughly a 17-35mm on the aps-c cameras I am used to shooting. It’s definitely not a traditional portrait […]

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Expressive

Moving, Photos, and Hard Stuff

Moving Moving, photos, and hard stuff– We are moving out of our house a week from two days from now. The initial closing disclosures for the loan on the new house have arrived and been signed. It’s a for sure real thing, and I am excited. We drive by the new house at least once a day. Moving, photos, and hard stuff– I feel like I should be more in my feelings about this change, but I really only see it as a positive change. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to live in our current house. It has been a great place to live. It has made me less afraid of storms. It is a rock solid house. I feel like I have mellowed a lot in living here. And goodness knows, the equity that grew while we lived here the past five years has only helped our economic position. Moving The new house, though…..that is my dream house. That is the house we can move into and I will immediately feel like it is ours. There won’t be a million things I want to change about it. We are having painting and flooring done and a […]

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Expressive

New Favorite Lens: Fuji 50mm f1 and Motivation vs. Discipline

So…. yeah. This was taken with the legendary lens that Fuji produced last year, that to this date is still backordered with no end to the backorder in sight. Except, I managed to find a gently used one at KEH on Thursday. To say that I am in love would be an understatement. And it arrived at just the right time of year, with the Japanese tulips blooming: This is going to be my new workhorse lens for both personal and client projects. The zooms are great for weddings, the 35mm f1.4 has its place mostly inside, and the 50mm f2 will be relegated to probably macro work with the extension tube. This will be my new primary portrait lens; my profile photo on the front page of this site was taken today with this lens. All that’s left kit-wise is to pick up is an extra Godox V1F flash at some point for receptions. But that is definitely something that can wait. The new lens refreshes motivation to get out and snap photos, but really, I am working on increasing discipline so that I continue working even when motivation is lacking. I’m going to be starting a new memoir-style […]

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Expressive

Journals and Photo Miscellany

I am going to need a new journal soon. I started my current journal on December 28, 2019 and miraculously I have kept with it all this time. I might switch to Moleskine notebooks instead of a formal journal. They are better for purses. And, I have several of Moleskine notebooks sitting around. But, regardless….the journal has to have no lines, like a sketchbook. I like the freedom to make my pages have as many lines of text as I feel like filling up. All this to say, I love private, on paper journaling. But, I have desperately missed blogging. I love my people and I miss talking to you. I just have a brain the psychs me out for no good reason. This has been the week I have gotten real about my health. I joined the Peloton app and have taken baby steps into learning about Pilates. I am still working the Noom program. I am working to balance sitting positions and sit up straighter when I am sitting in the recliner. I am drinking tons of water. I’ve kept the light therapy lamp on most of the day to fight off late winter blah’s. So ready for […]

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Uncategorized

New Normal, Day 6: Rediscovering My Love of Primes

Let’s talk about this picture and my photography processes for a minute: I have taken more pictures around the house in the last three days than I probably have in the last three months. These are Japanese tulips on their last legs in my next door neighbor’s yard. I took this photo with the X-H1 and the 50mm f2. This picture has already been all over my Facebook, and my church’s Facebook, and Instagram, so it’s probably not a new picture to you if you are reading this. I sold off the last of all my prime lenses in 2018 to purchase the 50mm-140mm f2.8. I justified going all zooms because that was what was convenient for weddings, and I figured I could use them for personal projects too since the focal lengths overlapped and I had all the focal lengths covered. And let’s face it– the Fuji red-badge zooms really are rivaling all the Fuji primes in image quality. But…..the zooms are not compact, at all. Which makes throwing a camera in a purse not exactly a simple thing. And the thought processes behind photography with zooms is more complicated, as well. And, there is a big something to […]

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